Well... let's see. Should I go all in, or just talk about the cryptic "new" post? Let's start there and see what happens...
I think I've established the whole unemployed thing? I really should write more often so I can remember what I've written. This kind of absent-mindedness should at least be accompanied by recreational merriment, and it is not... so my brain is dying, obviously.
Diligently for weeks, I apply to job after job, all things in my wheel-house of experience. And so far, the only replies I am receiving are one's for veiled sales jobs. You have a phone call with someone, and they set you up a zoom call, and upon arriving at the zoom call, you realize it's you and twenty people and the spiel begins about how blah blah blah sells itself. So, upon cessation of the severance payments, a critical choice was made. I could maybe find an entry level job and start completely over wage-wise at 48, or I could try to develop skills to start a new career that would start somewhere close to where I ended the last one, wage-wise. So, I am going for it. If I am successful, I will be a software-coder some time next year working for my new forever job.
"Okay, what do they do?" Well, they work on the front-end and back-end of websites and write/debug the code that is used in creating them. If I am honest, this is something I've wanted to do as a career ever since "The Phantom's Bed". I should resurrect that!
"How did it go?" - I think I would say, I crawled out of Prep. It was two weeks of quick but basic lessons in JavaScript, and I got a 13/16 on the coding test, and a 23/25 on the multiple choice. That may not sound too bad, but only one error on a website can break the whole thing, or worse, expose yourself and/or visitors to risk. But I passed and I got the approval to move forward. My next session, Bootcamp starts in about 3 weeks, and this is where the coding gets bloody. I plan to spend about two weeks leading up to Bootcamp refreshing myself and trying to get a jump on the material ahead. I also need to figure out how I am going to finance this endeavor. Bootcamp is less than a $1000 - and it will be up to my instructors throughout the class and at it's end if I will move on to Immersion. It's there that the costs get real. If I make it through Bootcamp and Immersion - job placement is assured. This program is scoring 100% placement, and that's because they are weeding people out as you go along that are not benefitting from the class and material. It's specifically hard for that reason. They don't want to waste people's money, and they also can't guarantee an employer that their pupils are ready for real world challenges if you can simply buy your certification.
This is where I am. It's scary and stressful, but my wife has been incredibly patient and supportive through all of this. I am no good at this environment where things are out of my control... it's reached the point where my brain isn't simply suggesting that I am a failure but is now punching the depression button, and throwing back at me every terrible thing it's able to remember me doing or saying to anyone, ever. It's dark in here.
I think that's it for now... good night all.
Listening to: In The Nursery - Live at Melkweg, Amsterdam - February 1985
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