Cities Of The Dead: St. Louis Cemetery No. 3, New Orleans

I head into St. Louis Cemetery No. 3 in search of famed photographer, E.J. Bellocq. St. Louis No 3 is nestled amongst the stunning mansions of Esplanade Avenue, and walking distance from New Orleans Museum of Art and City Park. This is a massive cemetery, so the search is difficult. It is also heavily trafficked with tour groups because of it's safe nature and picturesque tombs at the cemetery's entrance. I was in a good deal of pain at the time of filming, so I didn't capture everything there was to see. Another visit is warranted.

 

It Isn't the Best of Times

 It's hard to concentrate when Reverend Peyton is tearing things up. 

I guess, right off the top, the job search. The searching is getting increasingly challenging; the finding is not happening. The few responses I've had turned out to be sales positions which I have absolutely no interest in doing. I've always found trying to sell an item to someone, even when it was chocolates or wrapping paper as an elementary student, to be some of the most stressful experiences of my life. It feels so disingenuous and maligned with how people seek out the things they want in their life. If they wanted benefits, they could call me and I'd be happy to walk them through all of the options, but you want me to call or approach a stranger and try to convince them they need something they don't already possess - nah. If that's a skillset you have, bless you, seems to be no shortage of jobs in this world for you, and if my last job taught me anything, as a salesperson, you are the inheritors of the earth and should be treated as such. If you are one of those taking advantage of people - well, fuck you.

So, yeah - not going well. I can tell that not having employment is reaching it's tentacles into other areas of life and meddling about with aspects of life that should provide support and confidence and turning them into additional sources of stress and anxiety. It's that death spiral that happens when you feel unwanted. Questioning life choices leads to an emasculation of confidence, and you wonder if anyone cares about all of the sacrifices you made for the past 20 years. I so hate this feeling and have been fearing it for so long. I remember it, probably more vividly, than any other aspect of the search that led me to my last job.

On a brighter note, I was able to spend some time in The Appalachian Mountains, and it was breath-takingly beautiful. It's been so long since I have seen real, ominous mountains, much less be immersed in them. I rented an Air B'n'B in a small, mountain town and from there, had numerous small adventures. I saw my first waterfall! Hard to believe, and it's a visual I will never forget. I also spent hours in a new cemetery, filming, and got to visit new record stores, and went antique shopping. 

I found this incredible book of photographs from anonymous individuals in Germany - this one: https://www.amazon.de/Anonyme-Fotografien-aus-Deutschland-bis/dp/3932865324  Seems to be rather rare, score! 

I loved every aspect of this trip, wishing only that it could have been longer. I find myself wishing, I hadn't left. I mentally escaped everything for several days, but now that I am back, the weight of everything feels so much heavier than when I left. Winding roads, lush forests, winding paths off into the unknown, rushing streams, imposing rocks, and genuinely kind strangers; it's hard to leave that. I'm fully aware that people lose sight of "vacation experience" and tend to equate that with "everyday life". I know my day would not be an amazing breakfast every morning, followed by some adventure, and filled with delicious take out for lunch and dinner, and a jaunt into the forest for some cool-stream, waterfall hunting. There's plenty to be said for not having to be calculating every time you get in the car, and not having to constantly be aware of your surroundings, and to be in a town that goes to sleep with dusk. 

I'm rambling now; scared and scattered. I need a life coach at this moment - I need someone to tell me what is my smartest next move. Take a shitty, low-paying job, keep trying for a decent job, get a license or certification in something, I don't know. I'm terrified... the severance ends in a month. Even the good news, no COBRA premiums, additional unemployment, and my 401K cushion of desperation - it isn't going to be enough to put the pieces together after April. Not rent and car payment... what to do?

I wish I could say I finally had a vacation and I feel refreshed. Instead, I had a distraction and everything still sucks. I need a solution and soon.

Listening to: The Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band - "This Little Light Of Mine"

Cities Of The Dead: Greenwood Cemetery, New Orleans

 We visit the massive (150+ Acres) Greenwood Cemetery located in The Cemetery District. The property opened in 1852, and has greater than 100,000 interments, including both Union and Confederate Generals, actors, Major League Baseball Players, authors, musicians and politicians. The sprawling grounds contain some of the most iconic and unique graves in New Orleans, and is definitely high on my recommendation list.

Added Bonus: (Part One) was so reviled by someone that they left an unflattering comment on the video, my first!